Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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