Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
