ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
