We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize