He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
