grandma shit on top of the toilet
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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