He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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