Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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