ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
this just has baby written all over it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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