You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Damn victory sex feels great
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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