halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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