Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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