break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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