whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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