I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
