You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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