woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
