they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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