i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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