Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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