So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
