He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
