Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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