I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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