My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
