its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
