just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
