Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
