I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Pooping to opera.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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