I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
