i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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