Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Randomize
