omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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