She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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