i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
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