It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
