The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
