considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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