so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you never un-have a 4some
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
