Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
why do cheetos always look like penises
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
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