Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
