Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize