I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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