Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize