Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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