Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm like, not good at living.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The ass gains better be worth it
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