Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
