Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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