Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
