people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
My penis needs a shock collar
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
