I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
