the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
