i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
