Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize