Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
