my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
