You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
