Since when is my name a synonym for head?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
