pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My balls are so social today.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
