is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize