so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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