This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
