Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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