new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Your dad touched me again.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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