i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I can't turn off my feet"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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