K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
