i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
