I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
