Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Randomize