he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
