The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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