dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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