Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
