im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
